The Family Cookbook
by Doug Anderson
As I have promised you for the last two weeks, today's entry is an experiment in contrast and comparison. On April 3rd I received two recipes from Donnie, via e-mail. One of them was today's experiment, sorry, recipe.
Oddly enough, I received a version of that same recipe on April 4th, this time from my sister, Patty. Coincidence? Could ancient astronauts actually have been the authors of today's recipe? I will let you draw your own conclusions. Put on your lab coats and protective eye wear and witness the sheer magnitude of:
Donnie's Notorious Bean Supreme
(A meal fit for a king, all in one pan!)
16 oz. can of Van Camp's pork and beans
(If somebody tells you should substitute Peruvian white navy beans, ignore him, use only Van Camp's!)
1 large hamburger patty
(Go ahead, use the hamburger Mom was planning to use for Thursday night's chili; she will never miss it.)
1 small onion, chopped.
6 slices of American cheese
Fry hamburger in large pan over medium-high burner.
Add onions when you flip the burger.
When burger is done, reduce burner to medium and stir in beans.
Cover with cheese and let melt.
Thoroughly blend ingredients; serve.
(Serves one, not enough to share with bratty siblings.)
Now let's take a look at specimen number two: (No pun intended!) Cower before:
Patty Dee's Adaptation of Donnie's Notorious Bean Supreme
A nice big chunk of ground beef. (A one pound package would do.)
A "single serving" can of Van Camp's Pork and Beans (I think a 12-16 oz.)
3 or 4 slices of American cheese.
Salt and pepper, to taste.
1 onion, diced.
Take the hunk of beef and add the salt and pepper.
Form into a giant-sized patty. (Ego, anyone?)
Fry in pan until done.
If you are watching your fat intake (or you're just not MAN enough to deal with this baby) pour out the extra drippings and give it to the dog.
Take dog to the vet.
Otherwise, leave it in the pan and slide it around. (sheer poetry!)
Add the diced onion and brown a bit.
Pour the can of pork and beans over the patty.
Allow the beans time to heat.
Top with cheese and allow to melt; serves one.
(Yeah, we covered that. YOU are one of the bratty siblings, remember?)
Patty then adds: "Seriously, this is quite tasty. It is one cooking experience I remember watching. I think he (Donnie) may have had a few variations, but this is the one I remember!" Thanks goes out to Patty, and of course, the original auteur, Donnie. When he says "A meal fit for a king, all in one pan," I think he means THE King, as in Elvis! Now we know what really killed him!
Next Week: The last Family Cookbook entry?